Give Me A List
As I wound down my career as a registered burlesque entertainer, I gave pause to consider what I learned from my time in that dim corridor.
1. The combination of prodigious amounts of steroids and equally prodigious amounts of cocaine, do not a charming fellow make. Intimidating, but not charming.
2. Socks are expendable.
3. Whatever is said while you are undressed, turgid and frottaged against a stranger, is generally more amusing if you imagine it being said by a character in a sitcom. Your choice.
4. No matter what you look like, someone thinks you're the hottest thing they've ever seen. Patron and performer included.
5. Flirtation can be a weapon.
6. Laughter can be permission.
7. Silence is deadly.
8. Money is the dirtiest word of all. Nudity, and lewdity, are permissive; it's monetary greed that's the most offensive, especially if it invades a fantasy. Stripping is fantasy, and when there is disquiet, when there is a PROBLEM, the imaginary quality dissolves, and the modis operandi of all parties involved becomes apparent. "You don't really like me," is countered with, "you pay me to like you", and no one is happy. A happy business relationship is when both parties are satisfied with their participation, and satisfied with the illusion. Discord tears the veil. Avoid it at all costs. Except the bottom line. They still owe you $20 a song.
9. People are lonely and anxious in the dark. Metaphorically and actually. Someone brave enough to give them an out is different, especially if that person knows what s/he's doing.
10. Nudity and affection should not be a commodity. For the number of people that are caustic, there are hundreds who are simply starved. We are all human, and there is no reason to debase others.
1. The combination of prodigious amounts of steroids and equally prodigious amounts of cocaine, do not a charming fellow make. Intimidating, but not charming.
2. Socks are expendable.
3. Whatever is said while you are undressed, turgid and frottaged against a stranger, is generally more amusing if you imagine it being said by a character in a sitcom. Your choice.
4. No matter what you look like, someone thinks you're the hottest thing they've ever seen. Patron and performer included.
5. Flirtation can be a weapon.
6. Laughter can be permission.
7. Silence is deadly.
8. Money is the dirtiest word of all. Nudity, and lewdity, are permissive; it's monetary greed that's the most offensive, especially if it invades a fantasy. Stripping is fantasy, and when there is disquiet, when there is a PROBLEM, the imaginary quality dissolves, and the modis operandi of all parties involved becomes apparent. "You don't really like me," is countered with, "you pay me to like you", and no one is happy. A happy business relationship is when both parties are satisfied with their participation, and satisfied with the illusion. Discord tears the veil. Avoid it at all costs. Except the bottom line. They still owe you $20 a song.
9. People are lonely and anxious in the dark. Metaphorically and actually. Someone brave enough to give them an out is different, especially if that person knows what s/he's doing.
10. Nudity and affection should not be a commodity. For the number of people that are caustic, there are hundreds who are simply starved. We are all human, and there is no reason to debase others.
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